


Pinky Promises

by rugratss



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bokuaka - Freeform, Cheating, Endgame Kagehina, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, F/M, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Oihina, Sad Hinata Shouyou, Slow Burn, Suga being a mom, Suicidal Thoughts, minor daisuga, minor homophobia, minor iwaoi - Freeform, minor kenhina, very self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25782259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rugratss/pseuds/rugratss
Summary: Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio made a pinky promise to always stay by each other’s side and never forget the other in junior high. That promise gets broken after Kageyama falls in love with a girl and leaves Hinata heartbroken. Hinata attempts to get over his childhood love many times, but unfortunately ends up hurt over and over again.*TW: This story contains minor homophobia and suicidal thoughts/talkings. If you are sensitive to these subjects, you have been warned and proceed with caution. I will put a trigger warning before the story begins*
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Original Female Character(s), Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To preface, this chapter is a flashback/a little back story to set up the main plot, which takes place with all of them in college. The current timeline will begin after this chapter. This story will be filled with lots of angst (im sorry in advance hinata) and is a slow burn. I don’t know how long this fic will be, but I have a lot of ideas in mind. I will also put trigger warnings for anything that could potentially be triggering in the notes and before the story in case you don’t read the notes. I’m always open to suggestions/feedback! I hope y’all enjoy my story! :)

I remember the first time I met him. Junior High, year 8, I sat directly in front of him. Ice blue eyes pierced through me, as if they could see my deepest secrets. He looked me up and down, almost as if he was sizing me up to see if I was worthy of his time or breath. I felt sweaty and my heart was beating fast. He eventually nodded, apparently deciding I was okay. That was all I needed.

“I’m Hinata Shouyou, it’s nice to meet you! What’s your name?” I finally managed to scramble out.

“Kageyama Tobio. You’re loud. And annoying.” He spat back at me. I felt my blood boil a bit, but surprisingly not in a bad way.

“Rude!! I’m just trying to be friends.” I puffed my cheeks out, clearly frustrated. He clicked his tongue and looked away.

“Whatever, idiot.”

From then on we were inseparable. We ate lunch together, walked home together, shared practically everything, and spent all of our time with one another. He was my best friend and all I needed. 

My father left my mom, me, and my baby sister for his second family, that he apparently had throughout all of my childhood. I never saw him again once he stepped out of that house. My mom raised us all on her own, even though she struggled greatly. She worked a lot of late night shifts at the local izakaya, so I was stuck watching after my sister, Natsu, most of the time. It was hard growing up and having to look after a baby at the same time while you felt like a burden to your mother. We aren’t a perfect family, but we all love each other greatly and that became our glue for sticking together.

Kageyama had squeezed his way into our lives, albeit not on purpose. I mostly forced him in. His parents were gone most of the time on business trips, so he was often left to his own devices and I hated seeing him so alone. My mom and sister adored him, almost as if he was their own son and brother. Natsu always wanted Kageyama to tuck her into bed at night and be her knight in shining armor when we played Princess dress up with her. I was usually stuck being the evil dragon, despite me being her actual brother. My mom always made sure he was eating well and was getting good grades. Any chance she got to tell he how I “need to be more like Tobio-chan!” she would tell me. Sometimes I wondered if she wished Kageyama was her son instead of me. Even though Kageyama never admitted it out loud, I think he secretly was grateful for having us care so much for him. 

Although spending time with others was nice, I had the best time when it was just the two of us. He would stay in my room on a futon I would pull out for him. We’d spend our nights talking for hours on end in the dark about anything and everything. Sometimes we would sneak outside to the hill behind my house and stare at the stars, trying to point out the different constellations despite not knowing any of them. We had seen each other get angry, laugh until our stomach’s ached, and even crying during our lowest points. We had seen it all.

One night under all the stars we made a pinky promise to never leave or forget about the other. 

“Kageyama-kun, you have to pinky promise me that you won’t ever leave me or forget about me, okay? I want to stay by your side forever and ever!” I exclaimed happily to him, holding out my pinky to him. He blinked at me, the serious glint in my eyes not wavering. He quickly grabbed my pinky with his, intertwining them and pulling me closer to him.

“I pinky promise I won’t ever leave you or forget about you, idiot.” He stared right into my eyes. I felt my face heat up a little bit. He looked so much more assure of himself than when we had first met. My stomach knotted up and I had the sudden urge to cry. Kageyama had grown up a lot in the time that we had known each other.

“I promise the same, ugly.” I finally stated. 

I should have known then that those promises wouldn’t have lasted.

Eventually we entered our first year of high school. We had met some amazing upper classmen through volleyball, which we played throughout junior high and high school. I had an easier time making friends than Kageyama, but he slowly opened up to others in his own way. 

Then it happened. It was slowly becoming spring time, the cherry blossoms just getting ready to bloom, and we were walking home after school one day, not having volleyball practice that day. Kageyama, as usual, was coming to my house for dinner. I was talking mindlessly about school, as we had been separated into different classes and only spent time together at lunch, when suddenly a voice appeared behind us.

“Excuse me, did you happen to drop this?” We turned around to see a girl in our school uniform holding a small black wallet in her hands. She had long, straight brown hair, big, deep brown eyes, and a small mole nestled right above her upper lip on the left side. She was only a couple centimeters shorter than Kageyama and absolutely gorgeous. She honestly looked like a model with her lean frame and long legs. 

“Oh, I did. It must have fallen out of my bag. Thank you!” I exclaimed as I reached to grab the wallet out of her hands. She smiled a dazzling, pearly white smile in my direction and it caught me off guard for a second. If I were any other boy, I may have been effected by such a smile from a beautiful girl.

“No problem! I’m relieved I was able to return it to its owner. Have a nice day!” She smiled at me and Kageyama once again and then turned around to take her leave. I watched her as she walked away, an uneasy feeling settling in my gut.

“She was nice. She was wearing our uniform. I wonder if she is in our grade. Have you seen her before, Kageyama-kun?” I said, still looking in the direction of where the girl had once been standing momentarily. I did not receive a reply, so I turned to the boy I had called to. 

“Kageyama-kun?” Suddenly, as I faced the culprit, my stomach dropped and my face fell. Kageyama was bright red all over and covering his mouth with his hand. My eyes widened as I realized fully what was happening.

“No, I don’t know her but I think...” Nooo, don’t say it, please don’t say it, “...I think I’m in love with her.” There it was.

I stood there, dumbfounded at him. I had no idea what to say or how to react at all. I pretended like I didn’t know why my stomach filled with dread or why I suddenly had the urge to sob, but deep down I knew that whole time why.

“What? But you don’t even know her name. How can you be in love with someone you’ve never even talked to before?” I was able to choke out my words. I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, but I threatened to keep them in, not willing to show Kageyama how badly I was truly hurt.

“I know, and I can’t explain it, but I just have this feeling that I was meant to meet her just now. Fuck, stupid destiny bullshit I’ve never believed in it.” He finally turned to look at me, still red in the face, and the look in his eyes was true desperation. I once again lost my voice, unable to coherently form a sentence without wanting to vomit. Why is this happening? Why am I reacting so viscerally to this?

“Come on, let’s go home before Natsu gets there.” I manage to finally say and started walking a bit fast to stay in front of Kageyama. He quickly caught up to me, but I kept a good distance between us as to not feel his presence. We didn’t speak the rest of the walk home, him being too deep in thought and me not being able to form words to say.

Mom ended up working a later shift so Natsu, Kageyama and I ate dinner by ourselves. I cooked as usual, since the others depend on my cooking so much, but for once Kageyama stayed seated on the couch with Natsu and not looming in the kitchen with me. I pretended it didn’t bother me. We didn’t speak much the rest of the night either. Eventually, while we all laid on the couch watching shows to pass time, he spoke up.

“Are you feeling alright, idiot?” He stared at me. I couldn’t tell him the truth so i quickly made up a small lie.

“Yeah, I’m just not feeling the best right now.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, are you sick? You should rest. I’ll put Natsu to bed and head home early today. Don’t overwork yourself, dumbass.” He told me, already picking up a half-asleep Natsu. Instead of arguing with him over the nickname I simply nodded my head lazily and continued down the hall to my room. “Night, loser. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” I heard before I shut the door to my room. That night I spent the whole night curled in my bed, crying.

After that, things became awkward between Kageyama and I. We started talking to each other less and less and become distant from one another. He would still come over after school to spend time with mom and Natsu, but he never spent the night anymore and we rarely conversed just one on one. Somewhere along the way, him and the girl, her name apparently being Fukushima Yui, started to eat lunch together and had been texting frequently. They started dating at the end of our first year and continued to date all throughout our three years of high school. 

Suddenly, Kageyama Tobio had faded out of my life and our pinky promise from that night under the stars had become a forgotten, childish dream.


	2. What About Us?

_I sat under the stars again. My hands went to reach up to connect them, but a familiar tug on my jacket pulled my attention elsewhere. I expected to be greeted by his usual scowl, but instead I was met with his back walking away from me. I quickly sat up, confused and dazed as to what was happening._

_“Kageyama?” I sang out to him. He did not turn around, nor even flinch at the mention of his name. Odd. Did he not hear him?_

_“Kageyama?” I called out once more to the boy that was slowly walking away. This time the raven head stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned to face me and the sight that was before me made tears immediately form in my eyes._

_“Kageyama, what happened to your face? Where did it go?” I cried out at the faceless man that stood before me. What was usually met with ice blue eyes was a completely blank canvas. The man that was once_ _Kageyama_ _lifted his hand in my direction, sticking out his pinky finger. There was a small red rope tied around said finger that seemed to hang down in my direction. I looked down at my own hands, finding the same red string adorned sweetly on my right pinky. I felt another tug, this time on the string. I looked up to see Kageyama walking away yet again._

_“Wait! Kageyama! Don’t leave, please!” I got up, ready to sprint at the man but found I could not move an inch from my place. Tears started to flow freely from my eyes now. I grabbed the string trying to pull my friend towards me again._

_“Please! Kageyama you can’t leave! What about our promise? We have to stay together forever!” I cried and cried out at him, all the while tugging to the string fastened to both our pinkies, but to no avail. He slowly disappeared into the shadows, leaving me stranded by myself. The string quivered a bit before snapping in half, releasing all tension and releasing Kageyama free. I fell to my knees, unable to do anything but sob into my hands._

_“Why did you forget about me, Tobio?”_

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly to the morning sun shining through the windows. My body felt extremely heavy and I was sweating profusely under the covers. I sat up, my head ringing immediately and I had to steady myself as my vision went black. I sat there for a couple seconds, regaining my composure once more before finally getting up to stretch and start my day. I quickly worked out the knots in my body before heading to the bathroom.

I heard shuffling in the kitchen as I made my way down the small hallway. I made my way into the small bathroom and proceeded to splash ice cold water in my face to help wake me up. A jolt ran down my spine, and I felt an impending sense of doom looming over myself. I tried my best to push down these odd, but familiar, feelings. I finished freshening up before heading into the kitchen where the noise was coming from. I was greeted by a fluffy head of black hair making breakfast.

“Good morning Akaashi-kun. How’d you sleep last night?” I said, slightly startling the taller male as he must have not heard me shuffle into the small kitchen. I took a seat at the counter, watching Akaashi tinker with the stove top.

“Good morning to you as well, Hinata. I slept fine, thank you. Yourself?” He said to me, his back still turned and messing with the eggs he was making. It smelled wonderful. I always loved when Akaashi spent the night at the dorm because it meant amazing breakfast in the morning. Although, sometimes it also meant blasting music into my earphones at night as he and my roommate, Bokuto Koutarou, are dating.

“Another weird dream again.” This seemed to peak Akaashi’s interest and he turned around. Despite Akaashi and I’s differences, we had become very close over the last couple of months since I had moved into the dorm with Bokuto. We had started to talk more when he came over and we eventually became very good friends. He was kind, patient, and gave the best advice, so it was easy confiding in him. He also owed me for being the one that ultimately got him and Bokuto together. I gave him a better look as I noticed a sweet red mark placed on the area where his neck and shoulder met. I smirked knowingly at the elder in front of me. At least they learned their lesson from last time to not do anything too wild while I’m in the apartment.

“Kenma comes home tonight and he and I are going to dinner. That means I probably won’t be coming home later.” I winked at the other male. Akaashi’s face immediately burned up and he quickly turned around back to his eggs on the stove.

“That’s kind of you, Hinata, but I actually having a meeting for student council tonight. Are you excited to see Kenma-san, though? It’s been a week since you’ve last seen each other.” Akaashi gained his composure once more and reached for the plates, carefully sliding the eggs onto them. He slid a plate over to me and I happily started to dig in. Akaashi really was kind. He tended not to show such a soft side of himself to others, but I'm known for breaking down walls that people build up. I remember the night he confided in me about being in Bokuto, but being afraid that it would end up like his last relationship. I consoled him and tried my best to convince him that Bokuto would never do anything to hurt him. It seemed to have worked.

“Yeah! I’m really excited to see him. We haven’t been on a proper date in forever either, so I’m glad we were able to fit something into our busy schedules.” I exclaimed between bites. A few footsteps and yawns were heard behind us as Bokuto emerged into the small kitchen as well. Bokuto was not a morning person by any means. His usual boisterous energy is replaced with zombie-like motions and an annoyed scowl on his face. He sluggishly made his way over to the fridge, grabbing out his protein shake and sitting down in front of his egg, hastily eating the delish breakfast. Akaashi and I shared looks, knowing he’ll be jumping off the walls in a matter of minutes.

“Anyway, Hinata, I’m glad you’re excited to see Kenma-san.” I smiled up at the raven haired male and finished my egg, thanking Akaashi for the meal. Bokuto grunted beside me. I knew that Bokuto somewhat disapproved of Kenma and I dating, but it was to be expected since he was best bros with Kuroo. Nevertheless, he never outright expressed his disapproval, probably suspecting I could already sense it and respecting boundaries. Or not. I can never tell how clever Bokuto really is. I cleaned off my dish and headed back for my room, getting ready for the day.

I really was excited to see Kenma today. Kenma and I had met in my third year of high school. At that point Kageyama and I had completely stopped talking, despite for when he came over to check up on Natsu and mom. I was walking home one day when I saw him sitting on the curb, messing around on his phone. I proudly walked over to the pudding head, asking him what he was doing. He hesitantly explained he was waiting for his friend and I decided to wait with him. We had hit it off immediately and slowly became best friends, despite his friend Kuroo not taking kindly to the intrusion. Kuroo loved me too though, so he couldn’t really complain. I had always thought that Kuroo and Kenma would end up together, until Kenma confessed his feelings to me one day. I didn’t really know what to do, so I accepted his confession and we ended up going out not long after I had graduated. We kept our secret hidden from everyone besides our close friends, not knowing how others would react to us being together. This is, after all, a harsh and cruel world for people who are “different”.

We had been dating ever since. Although in the beginning of the relationship I wasn’t sure if I even had feelings for Kenma, I eventually fell in love with him. And although Kuroo exclaimed he was happy for us on numerous occasions, I could tell he was hurt. I saw the same face on Kuroo as I made for Kageyama. A part of me wanted to let Kuroo have him, for I knew what it was like seeing the one you love being happy with someone else, but a more selfish part of me didn't want to lose another person in my life. As I sat on my newly made bed reminiscing about the past, I got a notification on my phone. I looked to see a text from Kenma.

**Kenma <3**: _I just got off the train. I’ll be back in about an hour._

I smiled brightly at the thought of seeing Kenma again. Kenma was a big gamer on Twitch and Youtube, so he was constantly being pulled off to tournaments or general meetings. Sometimes I wondered if he had really missed me when he left, but when he came home he always made a point of covering me in small kisses and not leaving my side. I quickly sent back a reply.

** >>**: _Yay!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so excited to see you!!!!!!!!! I’ll stop by the convince store on the way over to your house! Can’t wait to kiss you, ilysm (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)_

**Kenma <3**: _Sounds good. (´ε｀ )♡_

I'm grateful for Kenma. Despite everything I went through, he continued to stick by my side. Even if we ended up breaking up one day, I would never want to lose him as friend. He is important in my life. I had lost almost everything after graduation, yet he stayed by my side and gave me his loving embrace. 

I said my goodbyes to Akaashi and Bokuto. I slipped on my coat and shoes before heading out into the winter air. It hasn’t snowed in a while, but it still managed to be freezing out. I pulled my scarf over my mouth and headed to the convenience store. I looked around the world surrounding me as I made my way down the street. _I wonder when things started to change so much?_ I shook my head trying not to think too much about the past. A lot had changed since that day. Of course I miss Kageyama dearly, even if just as a friend, so it’s hard not to feel a bit saddened. _Kageyama went to school around here too, right? I wonder if I’ll ever run into him. Speaking of, I should probably call Natsu soon._ I tried to make a point of calling my younger sister at least once a week to check up on her and see how she’s doing in school. Mom and I don’t talk as much anymore, but Natsu says that Kageyama still takes the time to check up on her as well. I’m grateful he’s still able to be a part of their lives. Mom has always treasured Kageyama, more than he own son. He was the perfect exaple of everything a son should be and me? Well, I was just another disappointment in her life.

I finally made my way into the convenience store, the harsh chill from outside immediately leaving my body. I scanned the store and made my way over to the snacks to grab two onigiri’s for me and Kenma. I figured he would be hungry after a long morning of travel. I guess I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn’t realize another person standing there and bumped right into them.

“Ah! I’m so sorry, please excuse me!” I quickly spilled out, bowing my head towards the stranger.

“Hinata?” A chill ran down my spine. I knew that voice. I slowly looked up at the taller man looming in front of me, my breath hitching in my throat.

“K-Kageyama?” The man above me stood shocked, staring in my direction. “W-What are you doing here?” I really didn't know what to say. The one man I had so dreaded to see was standing right before me. The shiver of dread from this orning ran down my spine again.

“You mean at the convenience store? Is it not normal to go to one, dumbass.” He cursed out at me. I felt all of the blood rush to my face. I was about to spit back at him when he pulled his hand up to his neck awkwardly and I noticed a flash of silver on his ring finger. As quickly as the blood rushed to my face, it immediately left it. _No way._ Kageyama must have noticed me staring at his hand.

“Ah. Couple’s ring. I got them for Yui and I on our anniversary.” He looked away sheepishly, as if he was embarrassed by the prospect of having a girlfriend. It really ticked me off for some reason. I mean, he had no reason to be embarrassed over having a girlfriend. That's normal. “What about you. Do you have a girlfriend?” I froze, not really knowing how to respond. _Should I tell him about Kenma? Would he find it gross or weird? Would he tell people?_

“More or less.” I spat out quickly. I fidgeted with my hands, not really knowing what to do with them. He seemed confused by the response, but didn’t press any further, which I was quite thankful for. Despite Kageyama being an absolutely dull and insufferable prick, he knew when to not push and was observant enough to drop a conversation at the sight of any distress from the other party. It seemed he was about to say something else, but the ring of my cellphone interrupted him. I looked to see it was Kenma and excused myself to pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

_“Hinata? Are you on your way? I just arrived home. I’m taking a shower, so just let yourself in, okay?"_

“Uh, right. I’m just at the convenience store, so I’ll be over in a bit.”

_“Okay. I’m excited to see you. Bye.”_

I tugged are the bottom of my jacket as Kenma hung the phone up. I almost forget Kageyama was standing in front of me until he cleared his throat. _Waaaaah, embarrassing._

“Well, it was nice seeing you. I’ll let you go now. Uh...” He looked me in the eye, trying to find something to say. Something in his eyes was telling me there was a lot he wanted to say, but ultimately didn’t even know himself what it was. “...text me if you get the chance. I’d like to catch up, idiot.” Again, he turned away sheepishly. I nodded my head slightly, taken aback by the sudden request. We hadn’t talked in so long, so I definitely wasn’t expecting him to ask to catch up sometime. We said quick goodbyes and I paid and left to go to Kenma’s house.

As I stepped back into the chilly air, my face blew up bright pink. I wasn’t expecting to run into Kageyama and I definitely didn’t expect him to want to talk to me again. I tried to focus on getting to see Kenma again, but my mind kept drifting to his eyes full of lost words. I smashed my hands against my cheeks, trying to get rid of those intruding thoughts. Something inside me was screaming to run back and spill all of my bottled feelings over the years to Kageyama, but I knew it would be pointless. My want for Kageyama's reciprocation was just a mute cause, no matter what fantasy my head made me believe in those unsatisfied blue eyes.

I finally arrived at Kenma's doorstep and fished out for my keys. He gave me a spare set after I kept coming over when he was in the middle of a game and couldn't come to the door. I had briefly suggested that we just move in together,but he seemed rather apprehensive about the idea, saying things like; _"I game pretty late and can be loud at times"_ or _"We would get annoyed with each other too quickly."_ I would lie and say it didn't bother me that he didn't want to live with me, but it did. 

The warmth from the heated houses enveloped me as I hobbled my way into the entrance area. I took off my coat and shoes and made my way down the hallway where Kenma's living area was. Kenma was rather wealthy from being one of the top Twitch streamers and a big gaming Youtuber. He was able to afford a nice apartment by himself at only the ripe age of 20 years old. Bokuto and Akaashi liked to joke that he was my sugar daddy, but I wasn't afraid to admit that it was nice living in the luxury of a wealthy partner. Of course, I had spent just as much time spoiling him as he did me.

I sat down on the couch in the living area hearing the water run in the room over, signifying that Kenma was still in the shower. I decided to chill and turned on the tv, turning on a nice game of volleyball. It was a good distraction as I waited for my boyfriend to finish getting cleaned up. As I sat relaxing, a beep from my phone alarmed me of a text from someone. I looked to see wh o it was from, but was greeted with an unknown number. The message was a .png file and a text that read yesterdays date. Curiously I opened the message and immediately felt my heart sink to my stomach. I gripped my phone tightly, my knuckles turning white.

On my screen staring back at me was a photo of Kenma and Kuroo kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I'm sorry Hinata... I love you still. Don't worry, he'll get his happy ending in due time.  
> Thanks so much for the support on this story! It means a lot and I hope I can continue to do a good job. :)  
> As always, feedback/suggestions are welcome!


	3. Tea and Shaky Hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, I've been busy with work. I'm trying to write longer chapters so I won't have as many chapters, but there's still so much to the story that I want to write.  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Feedback and comments are always appreciated :)

It felt like an eternity had passed by. I sat there frozen and shocked, everything running a thousand miles a minute in my mind. I pondered over what I had done or what I _could_ have done to avoid any of this happening. My body felt weak, my mind felt dizzy, and my heart ached so very much. I kept scanning over the picture to make sure it was real, but it only led me to feeling worse and worse each time. I had the urge to throw up, yet I had a feeling nothing would come out.

I heard the door of Kenma's room shut, signaling he had gotten out of the shower and was going to get dressed. It snapped me back to reality making me realize I was actually at Kenma's house, sitting in his living room watching tv. I don't know how I'll react when I see his face. _Will I cry? Will I scream? Would I tell him to never speak to me again?_ No. Even though I was upset, my heart started to ache even more at the thought of losing him. But I needed more time. I needed... _something._

I heard the opening of a door meaning Kenma was coming out of his room finally. I started sweating profusely and looked down.

"Shoyou, are you there?" Kenma called out. At hearing his voice a sudden wave of familiar pain washed over me. Except this time I was just disappointed. 

"Shoyou?" He entered the room. I didn't dare look at his face.

"How long?' I finally muffled out, my voice broken and shaky.

"What?" 

"How. Long." I finally found some strength in my voice. I turned the phone down a bit so he could see what was on the screen. His breath hitched a bit.

"Shoyou, I can explain-"

"Explain!? Explain what, Kenma? That you were kissing another guy? That you were kissing _Kuroo_ of all people?" I yelled at the him. "I _trusted_ you, Kenma. I fucking trusted you." My voice became more and more shaky as I continued. As upset as I was, no tears fell. I just felt numbness in place of my anguish. 

"I'm sorry." I should have been angry at those two words. Those damn two words. I wish I could swear at him, throw a tantrum, even just cry, but I couldn't.

"Sorry for what? Cheating on me or sorry for leading me on from the beginning?" I stared into his eyes this time. He looked so lost and guilty. We just stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Wha-"

"Save it. I know you love Kuroo. I knew deep down that someday you would leave me for him. I just wish you wouldn't have gone behind my back." I looked down again at my hands. I played with the skin at my fingertips, picking at them so roughly that I started to bleed a little bit. Usually Kenma would grab my hands to keep me from doing that, but this time he didn't. 

"What about you, huh?" His voice sounded almost angry. I looked up, confused.

"What about me?"

"Oh don't play stupid." He looked somewhat upset as well now. "You're still in love with Tobio. You never got over him. The moment he comes back into your life again, you're going to leave me." My heart stopped at those words. What does someone say to something like that? I know it wasn't true, but the fact that my feelings for Kageyama were still on his mind and making him doubt my loyalty to him stung. I never wanted to jeopardize what I had with Kenma.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I do still have feelings for Kageyama. But I would've _never_ left you for him and I certainly wouldn't have _cheated_ on you with him. Because I loved _you,_ Kenma. No one else." I stared at him. He started crying at this point. I picked up my phone and got up, heading to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" He spoke up, as I had started making my way towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to call someone to pick me up. Kenma, don't talk to me for a while. I need space." I said matter-of-factly, making sure my point got across to him. I think it had for he didn't ask or say anything else as I went into the restroom. 

I sat on the toilet, scrolling through my contacts. Akaashi said he was at a meeting for student council, so I couldn't ask him. Bokuto apparently had a last-minute shift change at the gym he works at and wouldn't be getting home until later. Sugawara was probably on a date with Daichi. I definitely wasn't going to call Kuroo. Then, my finger landed upon Kageyama's contact. I didn't really have many options and I just needed to get out of this house for a bit, so I sucked in some breath and dialed his number. It rang four times before I heard a click.

"Hello? Hinata?" His voice rang through my ears. I wasn't expecting a sudden wave a relief to wash over me. Even just hearing his voice caused me to relax, despite him always sounding tense. 

"Kageyama, are you able to pick me up right now?" I breathed out. My voice was still a bit shaky, so I hoped he wouldn't be able to pick up on that. I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line.

"It must be pretty serious if you're asking me for help, idiot." He said sarcastically. I didn't have the energy to make a snarky comment back so I stayed silent. "But yeah, alright. Send me your location and I'll see how far away you are." He spoke, rather fondly. I quickly sent him my location.

"Okay, you aren't far. I'll be there in about 10 minutes, okay?"

"Thank you, Bakageyama." I said. He let out a sigh and hung up. I gripped the phone a bit hard, my knuckles going white. I must have been out of my mind for asking for help from Kageyama, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was the exact person I needed to see right now. I stood up and put my hands on the sink. I looked into the mirror, it being a little bit still fogged up from the steam for Kenma's shower. That was okay. I didn't particularly want to see myself right now anyways. I turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face. 

I exited the bathroom to go grab my shoes and jacket, deciding I wanted to wait outside for Kageyama instead. I passed Kenma, trying not to look at him. I knew that if I did I would just break down and that was not what I wanted to do in front of him. I slipped back on my shoes and jacket and again headed out into the cold air. I sat at the end of Kenma's driveway.

A small, black car pulled up to the front Kenma's house. I peered inside a bit and saw Kageyama sitting in the driver's seat. He looked up and out the window, catching eyes with me. He signaled for me to get into the car, so I opened the door and plopped into the passenger seat. He didn't say anything for a couple seconds, but eventually spoke up.

"Are you okay?" For some reason those words made everything in me shatter. I finally let myself break apart and started sobbing uncontrollably. My tears stained my pants and I hunched over on myself. I honestly didn’t care anymore that Kageyama would see me in this state.

A few minutes passed and I was still crying into my hands in the passenger seat of Kageyama’s car. At some point he had started driving to somewhere I didn’t know, I’m assuming to his house. I stared out the window as we kept driving towards the final destination. It wasn’t too dark out yet, but it was getting there. The sunset looked very pretty. Eventually, we pulled into Kageyama’s driveway and he put the car in park without turning it off yet. He turned to me and I him.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” He said rather sheepishly. Kageyama was never good with social interactions or being able to console other people. He was caring still and at least made an attempt to show people that he did care for them and their feelings.

“Do you want to listen?” I snapped back at him. It wasn’t intentional and I immediately regretted saying it, after all he did come pick me up despite me basically ignoring him for the past almost four years.

“Idiot, I’m just trying to help you and be supportive.” He said to me, almost annoyed.

“Well, maybe I don’t want your help, Bakageyama!” I blurted out, again without thinking.

“Then why’d you call me!?” He yelled back at me. At this point I was fuming. Stupid Kageyama, never knowing my feelings. The situation was almost laughable, with how dumb we are acting right now. I chuckled a bit and let out a sigh, putting my hand on my face and looking down at my knees.

“What are you laughing at, dumbass?” Kageyama asked. It caused me to want to laugh more, but instead I looked up at him, a small smirk on my lips. He looked confused and it was really quite adorable.

“Us. We’re both so stupid. I mean, we haven’t talked, like actually spoken, to each other in almost four years and the first thing we do is fight with each other. It’s so predictable.” He let his lip tug a bit at that and somewhat smirked back at me. All the tension I had felt previously drifted away as I looked in his cold eyes. _Stupid_.

“That’s all your fault. I tried to be a good person and console you and _you_ were a stubborn ass.”

“I was only a stubborn ass because you’re a condescending dick.” I joked back at him. Something sparked in his eyes, just for a fleeting moment. It was that same spark from back then, but I’ve never been able to figure out what it is.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’ll make you something to eat. I’m assuming you haven’t eaten yet.” I was about to protest, but my stomach decided to grumble at that exact moment. I blushed a bit and he smirked wider at me, knowingly.

“I-Isn’t Fukushima-chan home? I don’t want to intrude.” I really didn’t. As much as I want to be in Kageyama’s company right now, I don’t think I can stand any more heartbreak today.

“No, Yui is back home visiting her parents this weekend.” He stated. I felt relieved at that and agreed to go inside with him then.

Stepping into the warm house I immediately noticed how weird everything was. To an outsider it probably seemed perfectly normal, but I could tell how empty it actually felt in here. There were no traces of Kageyama, save for a few pictures of him and Fukushima about. It seemed as though Fukushima had taken over everything and not left a single space for Kageyama. It made my heart ache slightly.

I sat hesitantly on the couch as Kageyama told me he was going to make ramen and some tea for us. I looked around the room some more, taking in the beige walls with a few photographs of waterfalls and animals scattered about. There wasn’t much decoration to the room, keeping a very minimalist aesthetic. I shifted slightly in my seat, feeling a bit uncomfortable in this new setting.

Suddenly, I remembered why I was here in the first place and had to keep myself from crying all at once again. How could I have been so stupid as to call Kageyama instead of literally anyone else? Not only had we not properly spoken in years, but he also had no idea I was gay, so there was no way I could confide in him that my boyfriend had cheated on me with another man. Maybe he wouldn’t care that I’m gay?

I was pulled from my thoughts as Kageyama reentered the room from the kitchen with our tea and set down beside me on the couch. I thanked him and grabbed my tea from him, blowing on it to cool it down. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“So…do you want to talk about what happened? It’s fine if don’t, just…know that I’m here if you do want to talk. I guess.” He spoke awkwardly. I smiled down at my drink. Kageyama was kind, he wouldn’t care about my sexuality.

“Well, uh, I guess it’s a lot. If you’re up for listening.” I stated. I didn’t want to push everything onto him if he wasn’t willing. That would be unfair to him and his feelings.

“I don’t mind. I won’t judge you for anything and I’m going to just listen. So, let it all out.” Despite sounding so awkward, he had such a kind and caring tone to him and his face was so soft. I smiled again at him. Fukushima was very lucky.

“Well, okay. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I heaved out a short sigh. Despite knowing I could confide in Kageyama, I was still nervous to talk to him about all of this. “I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Well, to put it bluntly, I’m gay. And you remember meeting Kenma, right? Well, he’s my boyfriend. Or…was, I suppose.” I looked at his face for any sign of disgust, but didn’t find any. He seemed a bit confused, but nodded along nonetheless.

“Kenma and I started dating a bit after graduation. Except, he was in love with his best friend and I knew that things wouldn’t last with him forever. I still loved him though. He helped me through so much and showed me love when I thought I didn’t have any anymore. I’m sure you know Mom and I had a bit of a falling out. He was there for me when I had no one.” I looked down at my hands, picking at my fingers again. I could hear how loud my heart was pumping in my ears at this point. I sighed slightly again before continuing.

“Well, today I was going to visit Kenma as he was coming back from a small trip. That’s when I was sent a photo from an unknown number. It was a photo of him and his best friend kissing. I didn’t know what to do, so I confronted him about it. He basically admitted to cheating on me. I don’t know how long or why or what I did and I just-“ I hadn’t realized I was rambling until Kageyama pulled me into his side, rather ungracefully I might add.

“I’m sorry you went through that.” He spoke. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I grabbed his shirt tightly and let some tears fall again. Kageyama’s sweet vanilla scent filled my nose and made me feel so safe and warm. Every feeling or thought I had pushed down about the raven head immediately came flooding back to me as I sat there in his arms.

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata just really be going through it.  
> Happiness comes soon for our sunshine boy, I promise <3


End file.
